Piazzolla Tango - Oblivion

Tango其實是情人離別前夜所跳的舞
充滿無法言喻的依戀與悲傷

強與弱

L相信尼采所說的，愛情是弱者發明出來綁住強者的工具。唯一的問題只在於，L堅信，弱者是男人而強者是女人。

沒有中指的手

搭公車回家，遇上長紅燈，看見旁邊並排的公車裡，慘弱白光下一隻沒有中指的手。並非完全沒有，而是從第一個指節中間切斷，末端皮膚內卷成一米字皺折。我睜大眼睛凝望許久，終於確認那中指確實是缺失了，而非以某種奇怪的方式折隱起來。

那年輕男子用這隻手托著下巴，茫然望著窗外。我望著他。原本該有中指的地方，露出男子斯文的臉龐。兩班車上幾乎都只剩我們一個人了。

夜色中，並排的公車空間望去就像一個流動櫥窗，一截偶然被選取、無意間展示出來的人生片段。展示些甚麼呢？自然不是那些缺失掉的東西，而是剩餘，比如他的剩餘手指，下班後共同的剩餘時間，各種意義上的剩餘人生。

某些東西缺失之後，一切就成為剩餘。剩餘的意義不明。但並不是沒有意義。人這種生物能否沒有意義而存活？我不相信。總有些什麼會剩餘。

綠燈亮了。我們繼續去經驗各自的剩餘，承受或逃避那些意義不明的意義。

那麼伶俐他們從不皺眉，不絕望，堅持品味與趣味，與笨拙醜陋無緣。L總不明白這些人是怎麼回事，才剛激動地說著我們的宿命與使命如何如何，一轉身便可以在體制中卡得耀眼的位置。對於別人來說需要艱苦奮鬥的階級滾爬，對他們而言從來不成問題。大概，他們只是在同一個階級裡的這個位置挪移到另一個位置，僅僅因為階級這件事情本就橫跨著不同職業身份，於是才讓人在某些時刻錯以為你和他們可以共通。

Sophia De Mello Breyner Andresen

〈Aquele que partiu〉

Aquele que partiu
Precedendo os próprios passos como um jovem morto
Deixou-nos a esperança.

Ele não ficou para connosco
Destruir com amargas mãos seu próprio rosto
Intacta é a sua ausência
Como a estátua dum deus
Poupada pelos invasores duma cidade em ruínas

Ele não ficou para assistir
À morte da verdade e à vitória do tempo

Que ao longe
Na mais longínqua praia
Onde só haja espuma sal e vento
Ele se perca tendo-se cumprido
Segundo a lei do seu próprio pensamento

E que ninguém repita o seu nome proibido.

〈那個人走了〉

那個人走了
走在自己的腳步之前
如一位早逝的青年
留給我們希望的遺產

他不再和我們廝守
他用痛苦的手毀壞了自己的面容
完整的只有他的空影
如一尊神像
被入侵者棄在城市的廢墟

他再不會參加
時間的凱旋和真理的葬禮

他走向了遠方
那是最遙遠的海灘
只有鹹澀的泡沫和風
他迷失在那裡，完成了自己
依照自身思想的規律

再沒有人重複他那禁忌的名字

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〈INSCRIÇÃO〉

Quando eu morrer voltarei para buscar
os instantes que não vivi junto do mar

〈銘文〉

當我死去的時候我要回去尋找
我沒有和大海共享的時光

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〈Para atravessar contigo o deserto do mundo〉

Para atravessar contigo o deserto do mundo
Para enfrentarmos juntos o terror da morte
Para ver a verdade para perder o medo
Ao lado dos teus passos caminhei

Por ti deixei meu reino meu segredo
Minha rápida noite meu silêncio
Minha pérola redonda e seu oriente
Meu espelho minha vida minha imagem
E abandonei os jardins do paraíso

Cá fora à luz sem véu do dia duro
Sem os espelhos vi que estava nua
E ao descampado se chamava tempo

Por isso com teus gestos me vestiste
E aprendi a viver em pleno vento

〈為了和你一起穿越世界的荒蕪〉

為了和你一起穿越世界的荒蕪
為了和你一起面對死亡的恐怖
為了目睹真理為了丟掉怯懦
我與你同行

為了你我拋棄了我的王國我的秘密
拋棄了我短暫的黑夜我幽幽的安謐
拋棄了我渾圓的珍珠和東方的誘惑
拋棄了我的明鏡我的生活我的形象
拋棄了天堂的花園

此地外面的燈火再沒有凝重的白晝面紗
在沒有我顧盼自己裸體的鏡子
而荒蕪被稱作時間

因此你以你的動作為我穿上衣裝
而我學會了在狂風中生活

A. Schnittke：A Paganini for violin solo, by Valentina Nicolai

旅行的瞬間‧劉梓潔

坐過最長的一次火車，也是跟你，廣州到昆明，二十六小時。一人一個登山背包，沒預先買車票，兩人位置都在上舖，兩人都帶了大部頭小說，當作參加不斷電的閱讀接力營。結果，十二小時過後，簡直快要幽閉恐懼症發作。躺也不是，做也不是，看書也不是，睡覺也不是。我睡睡醒醒，大部分醒來時，是半夜。翻過身趴著，拉開一角窗簾，看窗外黑壓壓的原野。然後轉頭，確認你還在距離我一公尺的半空中，同樣一公尺高、半公尺寬的臥舖上，長腳也許跨過欄杆，也許正打呼。其餘面貌模糊。

二十六小時之內，所記之事寥寥可數。那鐵道旅行的浪漫想像，到後來，只期盼時間快過去，趕緊靠站。很久之後，我才知道，那種幽閉，也許指涉著，我們之間其實已沒有太多的話可說。

Truth or happiness, never both.

Trespassers William - Anchor

Oh our dance was slow
And you fumbled with my hands
Whisper time to sleep
You have dreams awaiting your tired mind
Does your heart get weaker
When you think how far we've to go
Forget all the promises
You're tired and you're drifting and you're low
And if you can't steer
Then it would be safer to drop the anchor
And if you can't feel
It's selfish to use up all of the bandages

I can read your eyes:
if this is real then it'll end
I shouldn't be so surprised
This happens over and over again
Does your heart get fiercer
When you think someday i might go
Forget all the promises
You're tired and you're drifting and you're low
And if you can't steer
Then it would be safer to drop the anchor
And if you can't feel
It's selfish to use up all of the bandages

When you're alone
When you're hollow
Then you'll ask me to
Come and fill you
Come and feel you
Don't think i will do

Trespassers William - I know

I know i'll never see you
I know i'll never run into your body walking through the crooked streets
I know i'll never hear you
I know i'll never hear you like a sound that wafts inside from outside there
I know that if i waited i know that if i wait a thousand days will lie wasted with thoughts of you
My love i've pictured this: Your violet eyelids
opened to say: here's where you've been
Your lips open to say: my darling it's been so very long and i'm in pain

I know i'll never feel you
I know i'll never get so close to you that i can't smell anything else
I know that it is raining
And i know that the rain will soak you through
And leave you like the tattered sky
I know i go in circles
I know that window panes bring only rain and not your face

My love i've pictured this: Your violet eyelids
opened to say: here's where you've been
Sometimes i picture all your fingers
Sometimes they're crawling down my spine
Sometimes they're buttoning your jacket
Sometimes you're far but you're still mine

Sometimes i picture all your fingers
Sometimes they're crawling down my spine
Sometimes they're buttoning your jacket
Sometimes you're far but you're still mine

I know i go in circles
I know that window panes bring only rain and not your face